It’s day 16 of trying to refresh myself and get everything together and just have faith in myself. The past 6 days have been incredibly hard on me, I havent had the best patience, we were remodeling the cats room, Machella is down from Texas, my brain is in a organizing frenzy and I’m just really tired.

I cleaned out my computer, started several new patterns, organized my work place, set up all my different accounts cleanly on my laptop and updated all my socials for each business.

I’ve also been posting pretty steady and I’ve gotten almost 500+ views on each short form platform which is way more than I have gotten before.

But with this, I also got a $2 raise and I’ve been given the opportunity to further my education.

Lately with God I’ve also been feeling a pretty strong pull towards him and between convictions and showing me how to love him it’s been a crazy learning curve. A lot of things I was taught as a kid in religion were things that were ripped out of context. So it’s been really eye opening to study things and just listen for him. Like in Romans 8 it talked about how we can’t be separated from God and how he loves us dearly and there isn’t anything we can do to make ourselves worthy of being saved or loved. And I realized how can I want to go to heaven if I only want to avoid hell.

That one has been a pretty rough pill.

Also I’ve been trying to heal from some family trauma and I’m not sure exactly which part I’m healing from right now but it’s been really hard especially with the fact I’m tired of healing and I just want to be healed.

I’ve also recently gotten a random spurt of confidence that has been causing its own issues, I feel like I’ve been more funny and outgoing lately but since I don’t really know how to present myself it’s been read wrong by several people.

There’s so much that I just want to do and I need to relax and breathe and just do one day at a time, I don’t need to plan anything I just need to enjoy it.

So yea, a lot has been going on. But I think it’s working out so I’m just going to keep pushing.